My Faith Crisis in America

Well, I wish this wasn’t my first post back on the blog. But here we are.

I’ve never let myself belong to anything that I didn’t completely believe in. It’s the reason that I have never conformed to one particular faith or belief system. It’s not necessarily something I have ever struggled with. I was raised by amazing parents who fostered that part of me. They encouraged me to follow my heart and to not let anyone tell me that I needed to be something that I wasn’t, or be a part of something that I didn’t believe in. I’ve always planned to raise my children the same way.

But when I went in and picked up my daughter out of her crib this morning, my heart broke. My faith in one of the things I have always been proud to be a part of, broke.

How am I supposed to look her in the eyes knowing that last night my country, our country, elected someone into the highest office that wants to take her rights away? Who sees her as less, as inferior?

What if my son is gay? What if that brief glimpse into equality that this country saw gets ripped away? What if his amazing daycare provider, an immigrant who has helped me raise my son since he was 7 weeks old, decides to leave this country? Or is forced to?

How has this happened? I have never, until today, felt any shame about being an American.

I have always had a strong connection to American History. I’ve spent years studying it. I’ve poured tens of thousands of dollars into our education system to learn more about it. Believe me, we have never been perfect. I understand that the story we are told in elementary school about the pilgrims and the founders is all a romantic tale void of factual events. I know that. Slavery. Native American injustice. Japanese internment. Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Segregation. Gender Inequality. These are all things that are a part of the American legacy. I didn’t think they were a part of our future.

I was wrong.

I made the mistake of believing that this country was progressive in it’s human rights. That we were always moving forward on the path to equality, no matter how slowly. I didn’t think that we would ever take a step backward.

For the sake of what? Trade? The national deficit? As a country, we have decided that those things are more important than the people who live here.

The only way I can describe this feeling in my gut, is a faith crisis. What people experience when they begin to question their religion. I’ve believed in this country my whole life, I’ve been proud to be a part of it. To tell people that I am an American. Now for the first time, I am questioning that faith.

As a woman, I am angry. As a mother, I am heartbroken. As an American, I am ashamed.

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3 thoughts on “My Faith Crisis in America

  1. I’ve been in a state of shock since the election news broke, and I’m all the way in Australia.

    I am devastated for your country and heartbroken for what that means for the rest of us. We have an incredibly racist minority party in politics that will probably gain a lot of support now. That party could win our next election.

    Everything Obama has accomplished…I can’t bear to think of that being stripped away.

    I am terrified for everyone in America who isn’t a straight, white male who lives well above the poverty line.

    I am sorry. I am just so sorry.

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    • Its over a week later and I thought most of the shock would pass, but it hasn’t. This might be life now, but I refuse to accept it as normal!

      I am so sorry that the decisions this country have made effect yours! We all live in our own echo chamber, but I’m afraid America has made itself its own echo chamber. We continually disregard that our choices effect the entire world. I hope it doesn’t take another world war to remind us.

      Also, can we all just agree that racism 100% shouldn’t even be a topic of discussion in 2016? In ANY country?! Ugh.

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      • Every once in a while it hits me and I’m just in shock all over again. I just hope everyone bands together in love. That’s what I want to happen. That everyone takes care of each other despite of who’s been elected.
        But the thing that scares me most is that this may mean WWIII. That keeps me up at night.
        And YES. 2016 IS WAY TOO LATE IN THE WORLD’S HISTORY FOR PREJUDICE OF ANY KIND TO BE A THING!!

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